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Readings from "GRATITUDE A VERB"
Reading One:
January 21
"The apple doesn't fall very far from the tree." Timeless saying
Some apples just don't taste good. Some apples don't look good. And, some apples don't taste good and don't look good. Seeing ourselves as a tasteless, ugly apple that didn't fall far from the tree, it is easy to be angry at that dad or that mom whose seed we inherited.
But let's look closer at the overall picture. Can we not see, all around our parent's tree, that the ground is covered with weeds, is untilled and parched? However, when a farmer comes by, pulls the weeds, tills the soil and waters that apple tree, what happens? The fruit soon starts looking good and tasty. In fact, the fruit does taste good.
What has changed is that the parent tree has now become healthy. What has not changed is that parent tree's seed -- one of which eventually became us -- has not and will not change. The seed was, and always will be, good. This applies to the seed that became our parent. It applies to the seed that became us. It will apply, or perhaps already does apply, to the seeds who will become our offspring.
There are some problems, however. The first is that we never lose that nasty habit of falling as seed on weedy, untilled, parched soil. Our apples fall in the same locations all too often. The second problem is that the farmer has a nasty habit of leaving. Despite our stubbornness, despite the difficulty we have, as trees, with communicating, we learn that we have the ability to ask the farmer to stay and he does.
Despite everything I may think, the seed is always good.
Reading Two:
October 25
"Don't put a period where God put a comma." Gael C.
There will always come times when we are disappointed in ourselves. Our pre-recovery stories are examples of this thought process. We hope in a Pollyanna fashion that recovery will end all our embarrassing escapades. What is really happening is that we want to put a period where God put a comma. Our stories are not over. There is always a sequel.
Some events are so serious that we put a period after them, meaning that we think we really are unworthy and unloved by God. Relapse can be seen as a period, one indicating that we were not chosen for recovery. It is better and more accurate to see relapse as a comma in our ever-unfolding stories. We can see another period in our lives when something happens and we totally lose it. We rage and we cause damage. Despite our shame and embarrassment, this episode is a comma, not a period. The real issue is what comes after this comma?
We also cannot put a period after our recovery date. Sober forever. Clean forever. Never going to place another bet, and so on. Recovery is itself a comma, not a period. The real issue is the same‹what comes after this comma?
If we reflect on these concepts we should get a very clear picture of our powerlessness. Some of us want to be worthless, but God does not want us to be worthless. Some of us want our recovery to be permanent, but God has more in store for us. Nothing in our lives is a period. Everything in our lives is a comma.
We need God to pull off the rest of our stories.
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